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Connection Protects Us From Comparison, Scarcity, and Shame

March 3, 2014 by Elizabeth H. Cottrell

I am a big fan of Dr. Brené Brown—author, speaker, teacher, and shame researcher—because she is helping us all realize how to set ourselves free. Free from:

  • the tyranny of “shoulds,”
  • the dangers of comparing ourselves with others when we’re imperfect and we’re enough,
  • the waste of harboring a scarcity mentality when there is abundance all around us,
  • the needless pain we cause ourselves when we feel shame because we don’t live up to our own unrealistic standards.

No one judges us more harshly than ourselves, and it’s a waste of emotional energy.

The path of liberation, I believe, comes through genuine connection. Connection with others, connection with ourselves, and a willingness to be vulnerable with people you trust. It begins with taking a deep breath, suspending the voices of the critic in your head, and dipping from the well of love and peace that is deep inside. This is the same well Jesus spoke of to the Samaritan woman (John:4) and the reason some refer to God as “Source.”

Source of love.

Source of peace.

Source of power to be a conduit for God’s love to others.

I’ve shared a carousel of Dr. Brené Brown’s books below, but if you’ve never read her work before, and if this particular topic calls to you, start with The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You’re Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are. That is the book inspiring Brené’s wonderful Lifeclass with Oprah my sister and I have been taking. I recommend it highly. If you’re not already on my list please add your email in the box to the right.

Out beyond the ideas of wrong doing and right doing, there is a field and I will meet you there.
Rumi – ancient sage and philosopher

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Category: Connection with Others, Connection with SelfTag: Brené Brown, comparison, connection, scarcity, shame, vulnerability
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Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Pamela

    March 3, 2014 at 10:21 am

    Nice post – and yes, I agree. Connection to ourselves, to those around us, and I’ll even add, to a pet, can add such wonderful reactions and value to our lives. And help complete us.

    • Elizabeth Cottrell

      March 3, 2014 at 10:27 am

      Thanks so much, Pamela. What a great addition to the thinking to include pets. Those relationships can be so nurturing and healing!

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I’m Elizabeth Cottrell, author of HEARTSPOKEN and a lifelong believer that handwritten notes can connect, comfort, encourage, and inspire. This blog explores Connection in many ways. [Read more about me.]

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