For years, I bought into the idea that I could separate my professional life from my personal life and that if I were as smart as I thought I was, I could figure out how to keep them in balance. After a few more decades of living—and repeatedly failing to accomplish that elusive goal—and the serious study of the role of Connection in my life, I have now realized what folly that was.
Here’s what I now believe for my own #HeartspokenLife :
- Everything is connected. There are inevitably aspects of my personal life that spill over into my professional life and vice versa. They are inextricably connected and entwined. It’s so important to recognize this so I can make allowances for the emotions and priorities that might call for adjustments or flexibility in one place or another.
- It’s better to be “well-lopsided.” Randi Zuckerberg, in her book Pick Three: You Can Have It All (Just Not Every Day), articulated the case beautifully: the key to success is being “well-lopsided.” Of the five goals we often try to balance—Work, Sleep, Fitness, Family, and Friends—she maintains on any given day, you can pick no more than three. Otherwise, you’ve bought yourself a ticket straight to burnout or breakdown.
How this knowledge can help you be happier
When I became aware that I could balance everything all the time, I began to stop stressing out about it and start figuring out how that knowledge could work for me.
When I don’t sleep well at night, for instance, I can tell my husband so he can know I might be more sensitive or prickly than usual. I can avoid scheduling high-intensity tasks until I get more rest.
When I’m feeling tired in spite of getting enough sleep, I can carve out the time for a walk or an exercise class.
When I have work deadlines or priorities, I can plan on take-out or easy-prep meals and reschedule the coffee with a friend.
Conversely, when I’m feeling isolated and alone, I can make that date with a friend to talk and decompress.
When I’ve had a period of long work hours, I know I need to let my husband and family know that they aren’t forgotten and when they can expect my focus to change back to them.
The combination of self-awareness and communication can make all the difference in how well you juggle all the balls you have in the air.
Are you still trying to keep your work and personal life balanced?
Cut yourself some slack. Pay attention to your own internal and external rhythms. What times of the day are best for specific tasks and priorities? Make the connections in your life work for you, not against you. Give yourself the grace to put more time and energy into one side of the equation or the other at any particular time.
Do you agree? I’d love to hear how you approach this in your own personal and work life.
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Resources for Emmanuel on High