Listening may be the most powerful tool in your whole connection toolbox.
“Listening is music to another’s heart. It is the unspoken melody of empathy, understanding, and connection; a heart language that requires no words.” ~ Monte Taylor, author/consultant
The foundation of any business or personal relationship is listening. How can you possibly respond to the needs of the people in your life—whether they are donors, volunteers, board members, and clients or your spouse and friends—if you don’t know what those needs are? And how can you find out what they are if you’re not listening?
For those of us who work with nonprofits, this matters every day. Every gift, every volunteer hour, and every yes from a board candidate begins with someone feeling understood.
Pay attention
There’s lazy listening—characterized by indifference and distractedness—and there’s what author Monte Taylor calls “fearless listening.” His chapter “The Habitude of Fearless Listening” is worth the entire price of his book The Power of Heart Language.* It cites research, examples, and stories that will convince you that you are entirely capable of becoming a better listener and why you should make the effort.
Pay attention to every conversation, whether it’s in person, on the phone, on a video call, or through social media—even riding in a car with a friend or family member. Put your phone away, close the extra browser tabs, and stop multitasking. Really focus on the other person. You’ll be amazed at what a difference it makes when you arm yourself with the information and insight this provides.
Listening in nonprofit relationships
A few good questions, followed by full attention to the answers, can deepen nearly every relationship your organization depends on:
- Donors: Ask why they first supported your cause. Listen for the story behind the gift.
- Volunteers: Ask what they enjoy most about their work with you and what they might like to try next.
- Board members: Ask what drew them to serve and what they hope to accomplish during their term.
- The people you serve: Ask what has helped them most. Their answers will shape your mission and give you stories worth sharing, with their permission.
Turn what you hear into a note
Listening gives you the material for a note with real meaning. When a donor mentions her granddaughter’s graduation, or a volunteer tells you he started helping after your organization served his own family, you’ve been handed something precious. Reflecting that detail back in a handwritten note shows the person you were paying attention, and few things make people feel more valued.
A single sentence is enough. For example:
“I loved hearing about Emma’s graduation when we talked at the luncheon. Thank you for sharing that joy with me, and for everything you do to help our students reach graduation days of their own.”
Tip: Right after a conversation, jot down one or two details in your phone, a notebook, or your donor database. When it’s time to write a thank-you or follow-up note, you’ll have exactly what you need.
The gift that gives back
And what a special gift you’ve given when you give the gift of your time and attention. You’ll never know how much more attractive and caring this will make you seem to others.
If you really want to connect with another person, always start by listening.
And if you work with donors, volunteers, or board members, listening is often the first step to discovering their missing puzzle piece—what moves them to give and serve.
“Listening is a magnetic and strange thing, a creative force. The friends who listen to us are the ones we move toward. When we are listened to, it creates us, makes us unfold and expand.” ~ Karl Menninger, American psychiatrist
If you’re interested in other connection tools that can boost your professional success, you might enjoy my monthly LinkedIn newsletter, The Heartspoken Connection. It’s written for small nonprofit and business professionals. For deeper resources, templates, and support, explore the Professional Circle at heartspoken.com.
*This post contains an affiliate link. If you make a purchase through it, I may earn a small commission at no extra cost to you.
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