NOTE: The original article on which this post is based is no longer available. See commentary and related links below to other articles on this topic.
So many women today seem to be learning critical life lessons earlier than I did when I was a young woman, and one of those lessons that took me to long to learn is how to connect with myself.
My talented cousin Susanah Craft once wrote these poignant words in her no-longer-published blog: “Three years ago, I was a woman who was daily disappointed with her body.”
If I asked you to raise your hand if you, at any time in your life, identified with that statement, I daresay I’d see quite a few raised high, and some of you would be waving them frantically in recognition of this sentiment. I still don’t like my body, but in my seventh decade of life, I’m trying to feel more tenderly towards it and take better care of it. It is, after all the only one I’m going to get!
Tools for self-love
- Make a list of your accomplishments.
- Pamper yourself with a daily self-care routine (meditation, exercise, walk, dancing).
- Journal daily to process your thoughts and emotions.
- Remove things from your life that no longer serve you.
- Practice gratitude for yourself, your body, your assets, and your abilities. Give thanks, even when you don’t feel thankful. [tweetthis]Gratitude is a powerful practice.[/tweetthis]
Self-love and self-care are not selfish
I’ve written about this before (See “Self Is Not A Dirty Word” and “Are You Kind To Yourself?”). [tweetthis remove_hidden_hashtags=”true”]We must let go of the notion that it is somehow selfish to take care of ourselves.[/tweetthis] In fact, it’s essential, not only to our own well-being, but also to our ability to reach out to others from a position of strength and love.
Start today
Make up your mind to start a journey of self-love, beginning where you are with whatever baby steps you need to take.
What tools have you found to cultivate self-love, self-care, and self-confidence? Please share in the comments below.
Book Review: Keep Your Love On! by Danny Silk
Sorry it took me so long to get to this blog post. I am pretty secure in the self-love department now. I didn’t used to be. And I’m not quite happy (still!) with this little belly thing I’ve been carrying around. The rest of me is incredible, for my age. I work out every day, weights, pushups, stretches, walk, tap dance. I just can’t stop moving. But I’m a much better person inside than I was years ago. For that, I’m grateful. I don’t pamper myself enough, and I know I should, more often. I think I may have the record in ND for “not shaving her legs because she doesn’t have to.” My DIL gave me some awesome products for soaking and prettying-up the peds. I’ve been using those and enjoy them so much. I am comfortable not wearing make-up. I’m comfortable not forcing my feet into ridiculous high-heels. I am proud that I don’t own an iron! I think the self-love is knowing who you are…and being happy with that person.
There’s no such thing as taking too long to comment on a post — I love and appreciate comments whenever they come in, Karen.
I love the way you’ve described your own “evolution,” and I hear similar stories from folks our age who, in spite of aging, really enjoy the freedom from many of the anxieties and the “tyranny of shoulds” we so often feel when we’re younger. I’m pretty impressed with your self-care regime and mindset!
I know that if we don’t have self-love, it’s difficult to love others too. Self-love occurs for me when I bake cookies and give them to a friend in need; when I send a snail mail card to a friend who’s feeling lonely or sad; when I walk for an hour and observe all the beauty around me; when my husband hugs me and tells me he loves me; when I play with my grandkids. Actually, the list goes on and on. Isn’t that weird? But I find self-love much much easier in my sixth decade than when I was younger, for sure. I think we finally really know ourselves, and then, hopefully accept all of our flaws and foibles. 😉
I’m having a big AHA from your comment, because it’s true that doing for others (because we want to, not because we should) is often a form of self-care, but I never thought of it that way before. Love it!
I also think you’re spot on about becoming more comfortable in our own skin with a little living under our belt…I have certainly found that to be true. Life is a great leveller, and those things that felt so important a few decades ago really just don’t matter as much now.