Do you write letters and notes to your children or grandchildren, especially when they’re facing new challenges?
My children are long grown up, and I didn’t write to them as children as much as I should have, but I was inspired by an article called “The Talk” by Glennon Melton in the Huffington Post. Melton has “The Talk” with her children every year as they are starting school, and she shared the one she had with her son entering third grade. “The Talk” could very well be done as a letter written to your child or grandchild, something they can treasure and read again in the future.
Two parts of Melton’s article moved me:
Her story message
The first was telling her third-grade son Chase about a boy named Adam who had been in her own elementary school class, a boy who was different and unpopular. As she reminisced about this, she said:
I think that God puts people in our lives as gifts to us. The children in your class this year, they are some of God’s gifts to you.
So please treat each one like a gift from God. Every single one.
Her personal message
The second was her very moving message to Chase—one we should tell our children and grandchildren regardless of their age:
Chase — We do not care if you are the smartest or fastest or coolest or funniest. There will be lots of contests at school, and we don’t care if you win a single one of them. We don’t care if you get straight As. We don’t care if the girls think you’re cute or whether you’re picked first or last for kickball at recess. We don’t care if you are your teacher’s favorite or not. We don’t care if you have the best clothes or most Pokemon cards or coolest gadgets. We just don’t care.
We don’t send you to school to become the best at anything at all. We already love you as much as we possibly could. You do not have to earn our love or pride and you can’t lose it. That’s done.
We send you to school to practice being brave and kind.
What can we learn from this?
If you have children (or grandchildren or nieces or nephews or friends) still in school, even if they are still very young, write them a letter about the things you want them to know.
They might not figure it out on their own…or it might take them a lot longer without your help.
Send your letter by mail…tuck it into their lunchbox…leave it on their bed to read. It doesn’t matter how, just go…now…
Get that pen and paper. And write…
…to practice being brave and kind….
I just love that! My kids are grown and gone, but I will make a note to self for future grandkids!
Thanks for commenting, Denise. Yes, I’m in the same boat–kids out of the nest and no grandkids yet, but hopefully our time will come :-).
You are doing some brave and important work at your blog, Denise (http://inspired2ignite.com/.Sharin)g your own past challenges to help others heal is so inspiring!
When our time comes, I hope I remember half of what I think I’ve learned to do better ‘next time’. 😉
Thank you so much for your encouragement and mentioning my blog! That’s so sweet of you…I appreciate it very much.
I’ve visited your site numerous times and have found it to be very inspiring as well.
I’m so happy you’ve found something of value here. I haven’t done what the experts say you should do and target a certain audience. I just speak from my heart and trust that the words get in front of those who need them. I guess I’ll never get rich that way, but it sure feels like what I’m supposed to be doing right now.
Oh Elizabeth. That line…practice being brave and kind…just absolutely hit my heart! I had an immediate lump in my throat. I love this woman! And you, my friend…I love you. Thank you for helping me to be brave and to be kind.
Oh Mimi, you were brave and kind long before we became friends (I sound like the Wizard of Oz when he was talking to the Cowardly Lion), but isn’t this how we all get by? When life is beating us up, there’s usually someone who loves us there loaning us their strength until we can find our own.
You paid your kindness and bravery forward for so long, I hope you’ve gotten some of it back in recent times! 🙂
Being kind to others. Being brave. Yes, great advice. The pressures of school and school friends and popularity – what a quagmire! Even in grade school. I have grandsons in 1st grade and kindergarten – so far, so good!
I’ll bet you are an awesome grandmother, Karen! I know how fiercely you love your family. Thanks so much for visiting and commenting!
I am! The grandsons call me Mo-Mo. I am also known in rapper circles as Ram-Mo and Mo-I-Am. 🙂 I hope I can help them, listen, be there for them while navigating the school years.