The word won’t go away
The word compassion has been coming often to my mind lately…the kind of niggling, repetitive showing up of a thought I’ve come to recognize as Spirit trying to teach me something.
According to the Oxford English Dictionary, compassion‘s etymology can be traced back to French which came originally from Latin:
com– “together” or “with” + pati- “to suffer”
Thus its meaning is “Suffering together with another, participation in suffering; fellow-feeling, sympathy.”
But what does it really mean to be compassionate?
I could call myself a compassionate person. I feel the pain of others. I help them when I can. I’ve worked tirelessly for many charitable causes and sent money to many others.
And yet…
And yet…
I feel like a fraud calling myself a truly compassionate person.
I’m tempted to go the long way around when I see a homeless man begging on the street.
I’m likely to move away when I encounter a smelly, shabbily dressed person in public, especially if they’re acting eccentric or deranged.
I’m probably going to avoid someone speaking loudly to all who walk by—or to no one in particular.
Sure, I feel sorry for them. I pity them. But I’m ashamed to say I haven’t always tried to help them.
I don’t want to be this way
I want to be truly compassionate. I want to understand why they’re the way they are.
I want to remember they are someone’s child, someone’s family member, a child of God.
I want to look into such a person’s face and not look away.
Because if I did, I know I would see the face of Jesus looking back at me and feel the connection that comes from recognition of my own hurt and brokenness in the eyes of that stranger.
But this is radical stuff
It’s not sensible.
It’s not safe.
No wonder Jesus upset the status quo when he touched the untouchable—when he dealt compassionately with a man possessed of spirits, a foreign woman touching his garment, an invalid lowered from a hole in the roof, and a blind man on the street.
In a recent devotional for Forward Day by Day, blogger and editor Rachel Jones reflected on the compassion Jesus showed to the Gerasene demoniac (Mark 5:1-20):
Jesus sees this man for who he is, at the deepest point of his being. Jesus loves him, right where he is, just how he is.
And love like that heals.
It sets free.
It loosens chains and casts out demons; it makes us whole and calls us holy.
Amen to that.
Lord, give me the eyes to see all your children the way you do, the discernment to know what to do when I meet them, and the courage to be a conduit for your love to those whom others might find unlovable.
When I can do that, I might just find I’ve redefined the word compassion.
[stextbox id=”custom” bwidth=”2 pt” color=”121212″ bcolor=”5805FF” bgcolor=”B0C2FF” mleft=”6 pt” mright=”6 pt” mtop=”6 pt” mbottom=”6 pt”]To get my latest Heartspoken posts, use the opt-in box in the sidebar. If you think a friend would enjoy this post, please use the email icon below to share it with them. And by all means, spread the word by sharing it on your social media platforms using the share buttons below. I welcome fellow seekers. You make the journey sweeter and richer.[/stextbox]
How Walking Has Opened The Door To A Beautiful New World
I too must admit that I avoid homeless or rough looking or smelly people. I too have given to charitable causes, though I’ve not done much more than that. I always wonder about homeless people and think, Don’t they have any family? I’ve also read that many do have mental health issues, choose not to lift themselves up. I have worked with challenged adults and children and it is sometimes hard to see them as anything other than their challenge or “disability.” I think if we realize we have these shortcomings, and try to affect a different mind set…that is the beginning.
You are so, so right, Karen. We can only start where we are and try to cultivate awareness of how we feel and how we feel about how we feel. It’s always a journey…
I’ve read this numerous times…and I’m looking deep within myself for a response…I’m not ready to respond just yet. But I will be. Some of your posts are so thought-provoking, I cannot respond quickly. I must think. Chew on it. Ruminate.
Karen, when any of my posts makes a reader think, it has done its job. Like most of life’s perplexing issues, this one is not going to be solved overnight, and the solution for you may not be right for me at all. That’s why it’s a waste of emotional energy to judge others when they respond differently from ourselves. Yet I find myself judging all the time.
Sigh…
I so appreciate your honesty.
I’ve struggled with this concept, too. For me, I have decided that I will pick my causes, do what I can for those causes or people whom I can best help, and not try to take on all of the sorrows and injustices of the world. If that makes me lacking in compassion, then so be it. But I have at least learned to look at that child in everybody. Even the unlovable and unapproachable were once innocent children who were shaped by their environment, both external and internal, and deserve my respect if nothing else. If I can manage that consistently, then I have come a long way from the person I used to be.
You’ve made an excellent point that we can’t possibly take on all the sorrows and injustices of the world. All we can do is pay attention to what —or who—we happen to encounter and listen to that still small voice to determine how much engagement is appropriate. You’re right that embracing the right mindset is crucial and sets us on the right path. We’ll never be perfect, but we can always be better than before.
Elizabeth, excellent reminder. I think I’m compassionate as well, but like you, I think of safety as well. Time to change our tunes a bit. Great post!
Thank you so much. I was listening to Ann Patchett’s audiobook “What Now,” and she made a fascinating observation that if were to overcome our fears and acknowledge or listen to others more, we might minimize their need to seek attention in more destructive ways and the world might be a safer place. Worth thinking about!