So many voices compete inside my head— an echo chamber of deafening confusion:
The obliger tyrant screams, “You must!”
The inner critic scoffs, “You can’t!”
The pleading child whines, “I need you!”
The scolding parent judges, “You shouldn’t!”
They are noise that pollutes my soul’s tranquility,
distractions from what’s essential,
yet the cacophony drowns out everything else.
Enough!
It’s time to take a stand.
Stillness, will you be my friend today?
I breathe in air and space and light.
I breathe out noise and criticism and clutter.
Every gasp cleanses and soothes.
Every breath turns down the volume.
Breathe in—breathe out—quieter and quieter
Stillness seeps in and brings peace—peace with anticipation,
Because my inner ear strains to hear one voice—
The still small voice of God.
It’s been there all along,
waiting for me to subdue the other voices,
waiting for me to stop and listen.
Speak, Lord,
Your word is a lamp unto my feet,
illuminating the path I need to walk today.
You know I’m impatient;
You know I want answers…clarity…a roadmap—
maybe even a burning bush.
But for right now, in the stillness of this moment,
I choose to be content with enough light for just the next step.
I advance in faith, trusting in your word to light my way.
Stillness, you are my friend today, and I am grateful.
You’ve made space for Spirit to speak.
~ Elizabeth H. Cottrell
November 14, 2017
Inspired by an exercise in Jean Wise’s new book The Communicator’s Companion: Devotions for Speakers and Writers.
What Shall I Give God? Only All That I Am…
Elizabeth that was just lovely and thought-provoking. Like Pamela, I didn’t think of other’s negativity but of those little rascals who try to take over my thoughts at the most inopportune time. The ones who us keep up awake until the wee hours of the morning. I must say they have lessened as I have acknowledged them and sent them on their way. An advantage of aging perhaps-knowing what to keep and what to let go.
Thank you for sharing, may we all breathe in and appreciate Stillness.
Mickey, I am so thrilled you brought up a very, very important point — when we hear these voices—especially that pesky inner critic—the very first thing we should do is acknowledge them. They are undoubtedly there for a reason, but we have given them far too much power over us. I absolutely love the image of sending them on their way. That’s perfect!
I also appreciate your insight about one of the gifts of aging (and with all the negatives, there certainly are gifts too). I find myself realizing more and more that every moment is a gift and I can’t afford to waste precious time dilly-dallying around. Making decisions more quickly about what to keep and what to let go is, indeed, a worthy skill to cultivate.
I stilled inside as I read your poem/prayer for stillness. I scream for the same – for stillness from the negative thoughts that clamor for attention. Interestingly, when I read your poem, I didn’t think of a parent or boss or public person sending me the negative thoughts; rather, I thought of my own inner critic negating what I am, and what I can achieve. She’s strong, that negative devil, but I know I can shut her up with stillness, meditation, positive thoughts, and reading excellent stories/poems like yours.
Pamela, your insights and comments are always so special — and of course, you’re right. Each of us has our own set of voices that clamor in our heads, and that darned inner critic is often the loudest. I wonder why that is?
It means so much to me that if, even for an instant, my words were soothing.
Your words (and posts) ARE soothing.
I don’t know why we women tend to be self-critical. I’m not sure that men experience it to the same degree. Like Mickey says, I think we get away from that negativity more as we age.
Grateful for your friendship as we approach this special holiday, Elizabeth. xo
And I am grateful for yours, Pam! Yes, I’m afraid that propensity for self-criticism is something we gals are particularly good at. This is a theme I’ve seen over and over in the writings of various successful corporate women such as Sheryl Sandberg (LeanIn.org). We are wired differently, and I guess the recognition of that is the first step towards making positive change.
Light enough for just one more step…I love this Elizabeth. What a perfect petition for this time of year and this stage of our lives!
Thank you, Mimi! Yes, we’re certainly heading into that time of year when things can get out of hand. I’m trying to be proactive and take things one step at a time. Happy holidays!
Where I live now, there is lots of stillness and I love it. But I know I need more than stillness. I need people, so I leave my hidden valley and fight the traffic on the freeway and go and do and then I come home to stillness. Can’t ask for much better than that!
Esther, it does sound like you’ve got a great combination going. And of course, you’re right–I, too, need and cherish people in my life. When I get on overload, it’s almost always because I’ve overcommitted.
I love the prayer, but one line in this post spoke to me, and I’m not sure it’s in the way it was meant.
— The scolding parent judges, “You shouldn’t!” — Well, that’s not how my mom (or Aunt Ang who helped raise me) ever responded. They always told me ‘go forth’ or ‘just do it’ or, when my son was stationed in Albuquerque, NM, and we were in Delaware, “Go” she said. Go be with him. Enjoy your life, be with him, support him. So I went. Thank goodness mom was a “go ahead” kind of mom. I was leaving her, by about two thousand miles, but she said go.
Karen, that’s such an interesting response. Oh how I would love to have met your mother and your Aunt Ang!
I was also fortunate to have parents who encouraged me to do just about anything, and I hope I’ve done the same with my own, now adult, children.
In my poem, I was thinking of the parent archetype and didn’t have any particular parents in mind — I was thinking about that voice of authority that can come from anywhere in addition to — bosses, friends, mentors—but in the case of my poem, it can be something we’ve imagined that’s not even real.
This is lovely and a beautiful heart felt prayer! Wow
Thank you so much, Jean. I am so inspired by your new book (http://amzn.to/2AXE1RQ), and one of the exercises there called on readers to write a poem. This was the result. Your devotional is helping me understand so much more about my role as a communicator and to be reminded how to plug into the Source—the Great Communicator.