Random acts of kindness are all the rage, and I have been enormously moved by stories of those whose lives have been touched by anonymous strangers. Jason Wright’s Christmas Jars
But I just read a beautiful piece that reminded me how often the tiniest gestures—more often than not done spontaneously or without realizing how much they matter—can be the ones that will be remembered and cherished many years later. “Lights in My Darkness” was written by Esther Miller in her “Moments in Time” blog. I hope you’ll read it all, but in it, she recalled a dark time 40 years in her past, right after her mother died, when she struggled quietly with depression and shared her feelings with almost no one. To this day, she remembers fondly some things her friends did that served as little lights in her darkness. Not beacons or spotlights, but just enough—enough to light her way to a better place.
It got me thinking about all the small gestures that have touched me when the other person couldn’t have known how much I needed their offering at the time: a phone call, an invitation to have coffee, a note in the mail, a loaf of bread, a bulb out of their garden, an email of encouragement or praise, a tiny gift that meant far more than the monetary value, an unannounced visit “just to check on you.”
Remember the 1979 Bell System ads with the slogan “Reach out and touch someone”? It was wildly successful, because it tapped into the universal human need to be noticed, touched, and connected. Happily, there are many more ways to accomplish this than just with a phone. Let your instincts guide you, but when you feel a nudge to do something spontaneous or small for someone, act on it. It might be as simple as a hug, or as much as the offer to a caretaker to give them a break by sitting with their child or invalid. Perhaps it’s a ten dollar bill tucked in a pocket or added to a tip. A beautiful cousin of mine gives scarves and jewelry she has made to brighten someone’s day. In Esther’s case, some friends pulled her out of her lonely shell by inviting her to have fun. Others helped by just hanging out and listening.
Here’s something else that struck me from Esther’s poignant article: just as the friends who helped her may never know it, we may never know many of the things we do that make a difference to those around us.
So the next time you’re feeling down and wondering if you really matter in the world, remember Esther’s friends. Then go get a copy of “It’s a Wonderful Life,”
What tiny acts of kindness have made a difference in your life?
You are not here to save the world but you are here to touch the hands that are within your reach. ~Kathleen Price
No one is useless in this world who lightens the burden of it to anyone else. ~ Charles Dickens
Life Lessons From The Labyrinth At Serenbe
Elizabeth, this is a marvelous topic!
Just a few days ago my best friend’s daughter was on my mind strongly. I decided to text her and said “You’ve been on my mind this morning and wanted to let you know I’m thinking of you and I love you.” She wrote back immediately and said “Thanks Denise I needed a little extra love this morning.”
As you say, when we feel the nudge there’s probably good reason -so go for it!
(and like Pamela said I got a warm fuzzy out of the deal, too!!)
When I had pneumonia several years ago, a friend stopped by with a pot of homemade chicken soup. The soup nourished my body, but the gesture nourished my soul.
Thank you so much for sharing these wonderful examples from your own life, Denise. These are exactly the kinds of things I’m talking about.
Pamela, you’ve hit on a golden nugget of wisdom when you say, “The more kindness we send out to people, the more OUR lives improve.” That is so, so true, and while it shouldn’t be the reason we’re kind to others, it is without a doubt one of the wonderful side effects. Thanks so much for reminding of this!
Great post – Esther is wonderful, as are you in retelling part of her story Elizabeth. And Karen is just too cute – I love her enthusiasm in ‘going forth’ and spreading warmth and kindness. Yes, I try to do the same every day. At work, I mingle with those who are old and lonely at times, and I just stop and listen. I see how much just listening and taking the time to not “DO” means to people. And you know what? The more kindness we send out to people, the more OUR lives improve. xo
Oh, Karen, you’ve made MY day with these perfect examples of the things I was talking about. It reminds me that life is a great leveler – it levels out many of the things that might otherwise make us different. We have ups and downs, pain and pleasure, losses and wins. Thinking about it that way makes it a little easier to be patient with those crabby folks who walk around with a thundercloud over their heads. Thank you so much for sharing your experience!
I read this blog just before I had to leave for work this morning. And I was determined (re-determined) to make a difference. I encountered many bummed people today! One, a woman who was complaining about her day, and I said, “But you had an awesome weekend at the lake with your hubs!” (I’d seen her post on FB.) She smiled. Another co-worker needed to vent and as she came into my office, I said, “Sit down, close the door.” And I listened to her vent. We were laughing in a few minutes. Someone else was complaining about the rain overnight, and I said, “But what a great weekend we had!” There are so many blessings, so many little things you can say to ‘make’ someone’s day. Thanks for the renewed kick in the butt, E. And Esther’s story – awesome. I have been in her place, and it’s the little things that others do that make you re-evaluate your life, your purpose, your happiness.
Omigosh…I certainly did not expect this, Elizabeth. Thank you so much. I’m glad you enjoyed the post.
Esther
As you can see, I was very moved and inspired by your post, Esther. I just posted a comment under it to tell you.