If you’ve ever struggled with wondering where to take your life next, Let Your Life Speak, by Parker J. Palmer, will be your guide and teach you to listen for your calling instead of struggling to attain goals that you were never meant to attain. This review has been pulled from Heartspoken’s archives and updated for a fresh, inspiring read for the New Year.
Let Your Life Speak: Listening for the Voice of Vocation
by Parker J. Palmer
Somehow I was late in my life discovering Parker J. Palmer, the wonderful writer, thinker, educator, and activist who writes and speaks eloquently about spirituality, leadership, and social change. Every time I mention him to a friend, it seems they have known of him for years and have found him a worthy companion to their own growth and development. I may be late to the party, but I have found him now, and I follow his work and activities with great interest. His newest project is a wonderful collaboration with singer/songwriter Carrie Newcomer called The Growing Edge podcast. It’s a conversation that revolves around a question-of-the-month. I recommend it highly.
I have urged readers—as I have to keep urging myself—to place connection with self as a top priority in life, not for selfish reasons but because it’s the only way to a life of true meaning. Understanding and knowing oneself is essential, I believe, to being authentic and grounded, and it is in this place of authenticity and groundedness that we find the internal resources and spiritual fortitude to reach out to others and become a conduit for the flow of love and power from God at our holy center.
What shall I do with my life?
My prayer journal is filled with pleadings to God to make it clear to me what I’m supposed to do with my life, and I know I’m not alone in asking that question. Parker J. Palmer asked it himself and explores his journey of self-discovery in this wonderful book Let Your Life Speak: Listening for the Voice of Vocation
Before you tell your life what you intend to do with it, listen for what it intends to do with you. Before you tell your life what truths and values you have decided to live up to, let your life tell you what truths you embody, what values you represent…Vocation does not mean a goal that I pursue. It means a calling that I hear.
The author has thought deeply about education, and he makes the discouraging observation that from our earliest days in school, we’re taught to pay attention and listen to everyone and everything except ourselves. Think about the notes you take at a retreat or seminar. They are all about what someone else is saying and nothing about what you might think or say yourself. Palmer urges us to realize the words we speak “often contain counsel we are trying to give ourselves,” so we should listen to them!
Redefining the meaning of vocation
Palmer concludes that it takes a long time to become the person we’ve always been. The more I thought about this, the more it settled deep into my soul, and I recognized it as truth. We need to discover that person who is our true self, flaws and good traits alike, and in so doing, we begin to join Palmer as he concludes,
Today I understand vocation quite differently—not as a goal to be achieved but as a gift to be received. Discovering vocation does not mean scrambling toward some prize just beyond my reach but accepting the treasure of true self I already possess. Vocation does not come from a voice “out there” calling me to become something I am not. It comes from a voice “in here” calling me to be the person I was born to be, to fulfill the original selfhood given me at birth by God.
Do these words thrill you as much as they do me?
Sometimes giving is the wrong thing to do
One particularly interesting part of the book spoke of the tendency we have to do noble things and give selflessly to others, but he reminds us that this isn’t always what we’re called to do by our higher power. “It took me a long time to understand that although everyone needs to be loved, I cannot be the source of that gift to everyone who asks me for it…Give only if you have something you must give…When I give something I do not possess, I give a false and dangerous gift, a gift that looks like love but is, in reality a loveless gift more from my need to prove myself than from the other’s need to be cared for.”
Wow…that certainly elicited a wince from me.
Lean into the dark times
Palmer develops his themes beautifully, sharing honestly from his own missteps and periods of deep unhappiness and depression. He speaks movingly about the demons of fear, insecurity, and competitiveness. He explores ways to handle those times in our life when we feel paralyzed, thwarted, or frozen in place. The book is filled with wonderful insights, shared wisdom from philosophers and theologians, and gentle challenges to our cultural norms. His challenges are not judgmental, however, and that itself is a lovely lesson from the book. Here’s another moving passage:
Seasons is a wise metaphor for the movement of life, I think. It suggests that life is neither a battlefield nor a game of chance, but something infinitely richer, more promising, more real. The notion that our lives are like the eternal cycle of the seasons does not deny the struggle or the joy, the loss or the gain, the darkness or the light, but encourages us to embrace it all—and to find in all of it opportunities for growth.
I highly recommend reading Let Your Life Speak: Listening for the Voice of Vocation
Add it to your library today.
How I Plan To Make 2019 My Best Year Yet
Elizabeth, Thank you for such a wonderful recommendation for a book! I looked on Amazon and read an excerpt. I am definitely intrigued!
I like what you said about sometimes giving isn’t the right thing to do. It can feel selfish to say no, so I’ve been guilty of saying yes too many times. I heard Brene Brown on a video clip recently say this “a moment of discomfort over a lifetime of resentment.’ That has really stuck with me. Saying no when we need to is so important.
I’ve just come to realize what my life mission is in the last 2 years. Sharing my story in the hopes of helping others in their journeys of healing too. My life is exponentially more satisfying and fulfilling since I’ve become aware of my mission.
Thank you so much for these very insightful comments, Denise. Don’t you love Brene Brown’s content? She’s terrific.
Yes, I think we all struggle with this balance of giving, giving too little, and giving too much. It’s not always clear, is it? But I think you’re right…when you become clear about your mission, then you can choose what actions to take based on that filter: does it, or does it not, further that mission!
Just lovely Elizabeth, this sounds like an incredible book and I look forward to adding it to my library. Mr. Parker seems to have a sensible way of explaining ways of finding the grounded part of life many of us spend a life-time in search of. THank you for sharing.
You’re more than welcome, Mickey, and I’m so glad you found the review helpful. It’s always a pleasure to share a book that held such value for me, and I hope it will for you too.
All of these resonate with me. What shall I do with my life? Hmm. I now know what I won’t do, though I came to that realization late in life. I know what I love to do. I know becoming a grandmother was gonna be awesome and it is! I also like the part about ‘sometimes giving is the wrong thing to do.’ I have made that mistake loads of times. But then if we are too cautious, we may miss out.
You know, Karen, you’ve hit on something really important — often part of the journey is finding out what we don’t want to do, and in hindsight, there were always important lessons learned along the way. You’re also spot on when you say that if we’re too cautious, we can miss out. Balance, balance, balance, yet so often we have to ride the pendulum from one extreme to the other before we find the center! Sigh…:-)
I tend to really put myself “out there” … making friends, potential clients, even on social networking. I’ve been burned, sure, but I’ve also made some amazing friends! I prefer the open, honest approach. It usually works for me. About what I don’t want to do – be married! 🙂 I’ve tried it three times, and I realize it’s just not for me! I try to fill my days with family, friends, art, reading, writing… Again, it works for me. I’m pretty dang happy being who I am, where I am, with who I want. But it took decades to get “here.”
Karen, you’re right…the discovery of where we need to be often takes us on a path littered with hardship and tears. I don’t know why it has to be that way, but I do know it makes us pretty grateful for that special place, once we find it. Thanks for sharing your journey.