You may never know how much difference you’ll make in someone’s life by writing a simple note or letter of encouragement. The recent CBS Sunday Morning report in the video below confirmed this by sharing stories from those who said they would have killed themselves if someone hadn’t reached out to them.
Even more poignant was the feature interview with Kevin Hines, who actually survived his suicide jump off of the Golden Gate Bridge when he was 19 years old.
“All I wanted was for one person to see my pain and say something kind,” he said. “I could not reach out. I needed someone to reach in…If one person had shown me an ounce of care, I would not have jumped off that bridge.”
Thankfully, he not only survived, but has thrived in a ministry of helping others who suffer from suicidal depression.
Research findings
According to the U.S. Center for Disease Control (CDC), almost one and a half million individuals attempted suicide in 2018. Clearly, the problem is terrifyingly real, but what can you and I do about it?
There is an amazing but little-known study by Dr. Jerome Motto done between 1969 and 1974 offering irrefutable evidence that simple letters can, indeed, reduce the number of suicides. This study is mentioned in the video below and additional details can be found HERE.
Don’t believe the Black Hole Lie
Maybe you’ve reached out in the past—written a note—left a message—sent a gift.
Crickets—nada—nothing.
Just because we don’t get a response from our efforts to write a note of encouragement doesn’t mean they have disappeared into a black hole somewhere. Yes, it’s tempting to talk ourselves into believing it’s too much trouble to write that note or make that phone call when we don’t know if it helped or not.
Do it anyway.
And as much as it pains me to say it, sometimes our best effort will not save a particular person from taking their own life.
Do it anyway.
Here’s the scary part
We often don’t have a clue when someone we know or love is suicidal. This is what haunts survivors:
“I didn’t know.”
“I missed the warning signs.”
“I didn’t reach out.”
So don’t wait for an obvious sign or a tragedy to happen. Adopt an ongoing mindset of encouragement and let your friends and family know you’re thinking of them and that they matter to you.
Random acts of kindness
Hannah Brencher has made a career out of writing love letters to strangers—and encouraging all of us to do the same. Her famous TED talk, her books, and her passion have sparked a revolution worth joining. Click the image below for my affiliate link to her book on Amazon, but if you search for her name, you’ll find more about her global initiative. I’ll be writing more about it in the future too.
Look, my friends, I know we can’t save everyone, but the information in the video below and the research show that any kindness we do, no matter how small, has the potential to make an enormous difference. You’ve probably been on the receiving end of such a kindness, so you know this is true.
We who love to write notes and letters have such a powerful way to convey that kindness—and it’s right at our fingertips.
Write someone today. And watch this video. It’s only eight minutes.
If you are in crisis, please call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255), or contact the Crisis Text Line by texting TALK to 741741.
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Compass Points Newsletter January 2020
What powerful, touching responses. People are so often touched by the handwritten note. I have a 90-something penpal and I love sending and getting her reminiscences.
Thank you so much for this encouraging comment, Jan. I can imagine that a correspondence with someone that age adds a real depth to the experience. I’ve been recently picking my 95-year-old mother’s brain about her childhood memories and it is so much fun — and so remarkable to think about all the changes in her lifetime. If your friend has any grown children, you might save your letters from her to share with them someday.
Thank you for this powerful reminder. I remember hearing about Kevin Hines and was so moved by his story and survival. I need some prompts and accountability to get more active about writing notes.
Thank you so much for reading and commenting, Denise. I always hope to encourage readers to pick up pen and paper more often, but there are so many ways to encourage others, and you do it every day in your generosity and kindness to so many of us. So no guilt here…I just want us all to pay attention to that still, small voice when someone comes to your mind and consider how to reach out to them.
Hi Elizabeth,
I was in my twenties when I was in the same situation as the person in the video, I could not reach out. I needed someone to reach in… and attempted to hang myself. It was not a person who saved me but a little pocketbook of the New Testament lying around at the waiting room of the psychiatry waiting for my appointment. I never met my psychiater, but met God.
That day my view on life changed forever and I dare to say for the better. Difficulties are still part of my life, but with Him I no longer feel I have to face them alone.
Thanks for sharing this with us.
All the best,
Luc
Luc. I am so grateful to you for your courage in sharing this story. It is such a poignant, powerful reminder to us all that when we share ourselves with someone else—whether it be in a letter or gift or testimony or a randomly placed pocketbook of the New Testament—we are being faithful to our higher selves and to our fellow man, even if we never know the impact our actions might have had. Who knows, even your declaration of faith here in this comment might have a beautiful ripple effect in someone else’s life. Thank you, my friend.
Beautiful! Profound thoughts and words!
Thank you so much, Cindy. I really appreciate your taking the time to read and comment!
Elizabeth. After my mastectomy and reconstruction a year later I was at a low point. You had sent me a handwritten note asking me to share with you my passion for the written note. I could not summon words but sent you a copy of my book of essays and poetry. You thanked me saying there was so much love pouring out of those pages. In each instance I thought you must be talking about someone else because I felt so numb and sad from having had a recurrence of cancer. I thought I would not survive or live very long. I kept that letter and re-read it over the next 18 months. Then I had something happen inside. I read your piece on Hannah ad More Love Letters. I watched the Ted talk. I started to write to the people that she chose every month. I ordered some new ink. I got my pens repaired. I joined your group for note writing and I started feeling that love you were talking about. I re-read my book and I could see and feel the love pouring out of the words. I started my website Simple Books. I wrote the first 6 blog posts. I created a children’s book and published it with Apple. I did an interview with you to be featured. I began reconnecting with school classmates. I started writing a new kind of blog post every two months. I found my passion for writing come alive. And I started my artwork again. I now have a life worth living and sharing. So one note from you began a series of events neither of us could have foreseen. It is true that all we need is someone to see us. Someone to acknowledge us. And when we are treated with love, respect, and dignity we have a chance to love ourselves
We have a chance to take care of ourselves and to be good to ourselves. Your Heartspoken life has a huge impact on the world and I thank you, my friend. 🤗💖
Oh my goodness, Pamela. My heart is full from reading this and knowing that you have been touched and helped by anything I’ve done. Yours is a testament to the power of kindness and compassion. It has been a privilege to watch you blossom into claiming your marvelous creative gifts, and I look forward to much more.
You said something here that is worth reminding ourselves — the importance of being seen and letting others know they are seen. You have given me the gift of being seen in this heartspoken message. I am reminded of the Zulu word of greeting “Sawubono.” It means, “I see you.” What a beautiful way to greet anyone!